I “Give a F*ck About the Oxford Comma”

Nothing sparks a good grammar debates like comma choices. Vanity Fair's Michael Hogan interviewed Columbia-educated band Vampire Weekend about their controversial (at least in punctuation circles) song Oxford Comma, which has the jarring opening line: “Who gives a fuck about an Oxford comma?” To which I say, "I do!"

While the song’s overall meaning has sparked lively, though authority devoid, debate, perhaps the most discussed line is that first one. Most sources come to the conclusion that the meaning is sometimes we get wrapped up in the details and miss the big picture. Point taken.

So why do I care? Why do I want to cry a little tear every time I have to delete an Oxford comma in my newspaper copy because it isn’t part of AP style? There are basically two sides of the debate: the use and the use-nots.

Oxford comma opponents argue that it’s stupid to care about the Oxford comma because as long as you get the gist of what’s being said, correct punctuation doesn’t matter. Other, more academically inclined non-Oxford comma users stress that reliance on the mark signifies a poorly constructed sentence. It also fails to give the reader much credit in the realm of logical, deductive reasoning.

The other side of the word nerd debate argues that the Oxford comma is important to provide clarity of meaning in the written word. Using it regularly provides consistency and specificity.

I think both lines of thought are right and here’s why: punctuation exists to facilitate a clearer understanding of the written word.

Punctuation makes up a major section of the writer’s toolbox to convey ideas. But it’s still simply a tool, not the end product.

If punctuation gets in the way of meaning, then by all means modify. But it lives to serve: its purpose is one of helpfulness, not hindrance.

One common example I found in the Oxford Comma debate was this dedicatory sentence: "I would like to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God.”

Steadfast believers in the Oxford Comma argued that the lack of a second comma makes this sentence imply that the writer’s parents are Ayn Rand and God.

Non-Oxford Comma users point out that the notion is so ridiculous that readers will inevitably understand that it’s a three-person list.

That’s probably true, but that’s a laugh and a thought later – time wasted trying to figure out the writer’s meaning instead of doing something with that meaning (and losing come credibility in the mean time).

So I give a fuck about the Oxford Comma because I give a fuck about clarity and meaning. To me, using it most of the time seems the simplest, most foolproof way to avoid ambiguity. And that's clearly valuable.